Anxiety Attack
OhMyF-ingGodWhatTheFFFFhaveIgottenMyselfIntoImjgd;sgljksuchgjdl;aajg;lajkhackjgka;ldgkutieopwqbnjshbpife
sssssssbreathewwwwwwwwwbreathesssssssokwwwwwwwww
OWWWch WTF is in my pocket--
(muffled swear words)
Clunnnk.
Sigh.
...
BEW! BEW BEW!!! BEW BEW BEW!!!!!! BEW!
BEW!
(thanks for listening)
Monday, March 19, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Ensemble Script
So I've come to realization on my re-write: it's really an ensemble story. Or at least that's how I think it can be the strongest script.
And this freaks me out. New territory. I've felt a bit lost since this realization.
Ok, time for this project to have a codename. We'll call it codename: Autism Story.
Obviously, from the codename you can deduce it's about autism in some way. It centers around an autistic boy with perfect pitch. As written currently, the boy is the main character. But as a character this is a big problem. Currently he shows some change, but it's forced and really not very realistic. Since this is such a hot-bed issue these days I'm really striving to capture the realism of the situation. I've done a lot of reading research and as soon as I'm done with working full-time I'm going to begin meeting and interviewing real people: doctors and teachers and families and autistic kids.
But it's already clear to me that my first issue to tackle has been who is the main character? And that's been a struggle. Is it the teacher? Mom? Sister? Everytime I've tried to develop these characters to be main it seems a bit stretched and too far from point....blah blah blah just not quite right. You know.
So in the past week or so I've been so busy I haven't had any time to work on it at all but my brain has been brewing. And I came upon a realization: I have multiple main characters. It needs to be an ensemble.
It came to my visually. The autistic child is the center, like a sun in a galaxy. the other characters are like planets orbiting around the sun. Of course their importance (virtual closeness) will vary. But I realized that the autistic child will indeed change, but only in response to changes in all these characters orbiting around him. Kinda like people speaking different languages finally communicating. except that it's the planets that are learning to communicate differently and the sun (child) is changing only in response to finally understanding the language. (here's where my analogy breaks down horribly so forgive me.)
Why does this worry me so? Well, as I mentioned above this is new territory for me. I've never attempted an ensemble script. And I tend to be wary of them: so many ensemble movies have left me with a bad taste in my mouth: of course I will indentify with someone but I'll never be happy with the amount of screentime they are given. It can be hard to develop that character relationship I desire. But then again of the ensemble films I enjoy, I hardly notice they are. Seamless and beautiful. So it seems to be very hit or miss.
I'm worried about screwing this up.
So if anyone has any insight or advice on writing a strong ensemble piece, please do share. Or, if by chance you have some direct experience with Austism please speak up.
It's very very very important to me to do this right.
And this freaks me out. New territory. I've felt a bit lost since this realization.
Ok, time for this project to have a codename. We'll call it codename: Autism Story.
Obviously, from the codename you can deduce it's about autism in some way. It centers around an autistic boy with perfect pitch. As written currently, the boy is the main character. But as a character this is a big problem. Currently he shows some change, but it's forced and really not very realistic. Since this is such a hot-bed issue these days I'm really striving to capture the realism of the situation. I've done a lot of reading research and as soon as I'm done with working full-time I'm going to begin meeting and interviewing real people: doctors and teachers and families and autistic kids.
But it's already clear to me that my first issue to tackle has been who is the main character? And that's been a struggle. Is it the teacher? Mom? Sister? Everytime I've tried to develop these characters to be main it seems a bit stretched and too far from point....blah blah blah just not quite right. You know.
So in the past week or so I've been so busy I haven't had any time to work on it at all but my brain has been brewing. And I came upon a realization: I have multiple main characters. It needs to be an ensemble.
It came to my visually. The autistic child is the center, like a sun in a galaxy. the other characters are like planets orbiting around the sun. Of course their importance (virtual closeness) will vary. But I realized that the autistic child will indeed change, but only in response to changes in all these characters orbiting around him. Kinda like people speaking different languages finally communicating. except that it's the planets that are learning to communicate differently and the sun (child) is changing only in response to finally understanding the language. (here's where my analogy breaks down horribly so forgive me.)
Why does this worry me so? Well, as I mentioned above this is new territory for me. I've never attempted an ensemble script. And I tend to be wary of them: so many ensemble movies have left me with a bad taste in my mouth: of course I will indentify with someone but I'll never be happy with the amount of screentime they are given. It can be hard to develop that character relationship I desire. But then again of the ensemble films I enjoy, I hardly notice they are. Seamless and beautiful. So it seems to be very hit or miss.
I'm worried about screwing this up.
So if anyone has any insight or advice on writing a strong ensemble piece, please do share. Or, if by chance you have some direct experience with Austism please speak up.
It's very very very important to me to do this right.
Roped In & Ramblings
So yesterday should have been my last day working on the tv show. It's not.
The show has always lived in a limbo state, one tiny step away from cancellation. Now it's even closer. In an attempt to save it, the creator pitched the network on a revamp idea and we're shooting a presentation next week for 2 days. And I have to work it.
Not that I was actually ASKED mind you. And it really pisses me off. My brain has been set up on a very orchestrated schedule of when the show was ending and these two days next week only came about in the past week. So overall, I'm not really psyched about working it. But it peeves me more that no one bothered to ask me. Granted, my job is rather wierd and I work under various departments so that doesn't help matters. I do video playback, but on our show it's mostly computers. And most of that is background ND stuff, not hero. On our show I work mostly under props. But I also work under the set decorator. Our graphics guy makes most of the stuff I play, but not always. Sometimes it comes in from LA through production. Technically on other shows I'm lumped in with sound (which is where all my checks ended up in the first few weeks). And on the call sheet I'm under production services.
So usually it's a bitch to get information. I have to do a lot of seeking out my various bosses and asking them about stuff because they don't communicate much to me. And I think it's gotten worse over the season because they realize I'm a smart capable gal who's completely overqualified for the position.
So I've had exactly one person (first AD) talk to me about exactly one scene. I got way more information from one of the swing guys. WTF? And there I am last night, being handed a prelim with my name on it for the first day. And a glance at the next day shows I'm sucked into that day too.
Since I'm now in a nice bitter mood, I'll expand on my previous post. In the comments sb asked: " i hope that your experience is the exception and not the rule! Yikes! Maybe you could share said things that he/she has done so that we, too, may learn what NOT to do?"
For the most part, I've worked with some really good directors. The source of my previous rant has been much more the exception so far in my (somewhat limited) experience. He is now ranked as my own #2 most hated of all time. (My #1 wasn't from this show). During this past season besides him, there are 2 other directors I didn't really like much, but nowhere near The Asshole. All the others I got along with well and liked. I had one experience that floored me: when I asked the director if he wanted a computer on, off, or on with a screensaver (it was an "after hours" shot) he returned the question to me: "what do you think?" OMG. Amazing. A director who has respect for the crew and desires their input. That made me very happy.
One of The Asshole's worst traits is that he doesn't do his primary job of planning his shots and knowing what he wants. This is a TV show for crying out loud. We do 7 page days. If you want to be fly-by-the-seat-style, direct a movie with a big budget and 3 page days. And it's not even that he's doesn't know what kind of shots he wants. He'll make last minute demands for things that we sometimes aren't prepared for. And honestly, there's no harm in asking for stuff like that because you never know and if it makes things better than go for it. But his attitude is not one of asking but demanding something immediately. And if you can't do it, he throws a hissy fit. And if you do, not a word of thanks. ever. He doesn't prepare, and acts like a spoiled brat when you can't meet his immediate demands.
He's horrible at describing what it is he wants. Then you bring him something and his voice changes to this 5 year old whiney voice and he snaps "I don't like it." or "That's not what I wanted at all!" but then still can't really tell you what it is he wants. At the last minute. That I'm busting my ass to scramble up for him. Which if he really wanted so bad he should have thought of and communicated earlier.
He's always got this dour grimace on his face. He regularly completely ignores people who try to talk to him, and sometimes just literally shoves people aside while doing so. He completely man-handles people. He will grab the stand-ins by the shoulders and literally shove them around to get them into a position he wants. I heard stories of last season: Once the main star's stand-in was doing a camera rehersal with a walk and she started the walk at a wrong moment. Instead of asking her to come back he grabbed her ponytail and drug her back. I heard he once was literally pounding his fists on the floor. And he continues to direct episodes. Grrrr.
Ok, enough negative ranting for now. I must have something good to share. Ok, I just came up for a good motivation for this extra two days of work. With the money I make from those two days I'm finally buying my iPod. I can't believe I still don't have an iPod but it's tough when honest to god I won't settle for less than the 80 gig iPod video. So those two days are my iPod days. I had long planned that I was going to buy myself an iPod as a present to myself for working the whole season. A reward. I like to do that sometimes. When I got my first real professional job (a job I got because of my college degree, basically) with my first paycheck I bought a Palm IIIxe. As a present to myself. Because I deserved it since I rocked so hard.
Ohh, here's another bit of good news: we have a new Mac in the family. A bit of backstory: I type this from my main computer, a laptop. I still can't get over it myself that my main computer is a laptop. But of course it's a 17" MacBook Pro (first generation) that I ordered the first day I could. Previous to this I was on a PC, but spent a great deal of time on Mac's in college before I owned my own computer. But when it was time to buy that first computer Macs were way too expensive so I got a PC. But a year ago I was working on a project that I had to have a Mac laptop for and the timeline was a bit tight but I waited and it paid off: I got my laptop a scant 2 weeks before the shoot began, just enough time to install programs and do a few workflow tests. And now I hardly ever turn on my PC desktop workstation. I live on my laptop. Which I think works better for writing.
So back on topic: we got a new Mac. See, one bonus of working on a tv show and being the computer person is that I picked up a barely used G5 quad and 20 inch apple monitor for very very very very cheap. The G5 needs major RAM and another hard drive (or swap out both) but we scored a great deal. Apple sends us promo computers to use during the show and at the end of the season you can buy them at deep discount. They're still on warranty until July and you can get apple care if you want. The show had 8 G5 towers and I got the only quad, the rest were only duals. heh. pays to be in my position.
I'm trying to convert my PC boyfriend to Mac. I think the G5 might be the trick, plus the fact that I know what I'm doing on OSX now so I can stop his rants about "how come I can do X on my PC but I can't do it on the Mac?" Cuz he's wrong. Mac rules, Microsoft drools. Linux is cool, too. Someday I will tackle that, too.
Ok, another cool thing that happened a few weeks ago. (Wow, this post is getting long and rambly. Yea, deal.) We had a scene that was set in a supercomputer lab. And we really shot it in an honest-to-God supercomputer lab at USCD. Personally, I think they were crazy for letting us shoot there. Of course it was a sound nightmare: it reminded me of a TV movie I worked on that we shot on a docked aircraft carrier: a constant loud drone. I guess they're going to ADR everything later. So of course in my geekdom it was cool hanging out in a supercomputer lab, but it gets even better. I arrive early on set because I have to set up our hero computers: 9 screens from 7 computers. The location contact is letting me into the room and I notice the sign next to the door which was fake for the show. One of the graphics guys named the computer lab after me, with my last name. so it was my supercomputer lab. I totally nabbed the sign as we were leaving and it's now on my office door.
But even cooler was this: on the drive home, I remembered what day it was. March 6. The day my father died when I was 11. He was the one responsible for making me the computer nerd I am today. We bonded a lot over the TSR-80 we had: he taught me the beginnings of computer programming (BASIC of course).
Anyway, in retrospect I felt it was all a big hug from Dad.
And that's what we call full-fucking-circle.
The show has always lived in a limbo state, one tiny step away from cancellation. Now it's even closer. In an attempt to save it, the creator pitched the network on a revamp idea and we're shooting a presentation next week for 2 days. And I have to work it.
Not that I was actually ASKED mind you. And it really pisses me off. My brain has been set up on a very orchestrated schedule of when the show was ending and these two days next week only came about in the past week. So overall, I'm not really psyched about working it. But it peeves me more that no one bothered to ask me. Granted, my job is rather wierd and I work under various departments so that doesn't help matters. I do video playback, but on our show it's mostly computers. And most of that is background ND stuff, not hero. On our show I work mostly under props. But I also work under the set decorator. Our graphics guy makes most of the stuff I play, but not always. Sometimes it comes in from LA through production. Technically on other shows I'm lumped in with sound (which is where all my checks ended up in the first few weeks). And on the call sheet I'm under production services.
So usually it's a bitch to get information. I have to do a lot of seeking out my various bosses and asking them about stuff because they don't communicate much to me. And I think it's gotten worse over the season because they realize I'm a smart capable gal who's completely overqualified for the position.
So I've had exactly one person (first AD) talk to me about exactly one scene. I got way more information from one of the swing guys. WTF? And there I am last night, being handed a prelim with my name on it for the first day. And a glance at the next day shows I'm sucked into that day too.
Since I'm now in a nice bitter mood, I'll expand on my previous post. In the comments sb asked: " i hope that your experience is the exception and not the rule! Yikes! Maybe you could share said things that he/she has done so that we, too, may learn what NOT to do?"
For the most part, I've worked with some really good directors. The source of my previous rant has been much more the exception so far in my (somewhat limited) experience. He is now ranked as my own #2 most hated of all time. (My #1 wasn't from this show). During this past season besides him, there are 2 other directors I didn't really like much, but nowhere near The Asshole. All the others I got along with well and liked. I had one experience that floored me: when I asked the director if he wanted a computer on, off, or on with a screensaver (it was an "after hours" shot) he returned the question to me: "what do you think?" OMG. Amazing. A director who has respect for the crew and desires their input. That made me very happy.
One of The Asshole's worst traits is that he doesn't do his primary job of planning his shots and knowing what he wants. This is a TV show for crying out loud. We do 7 page days. If you want to be fly-by-the-seat-style, direct a movie with a big budget and 3 page days. And it's not even that he's doesn't know what kind of shots he wants. He'll make last minute demands for things that we sometimes aren't prepared for. And honestly, there's no harm in asking for stuff like that because you never know and if it makes things better than go for it. But his attitude is not one of asking but demanding something immediately. And if you can't do it, he throws a hissy fit. And if you do, not a word of thanks. ever. He doesn't prepare, and acts like a spoiled brat when you can't meet his immediate demands.
He's horrible at describing what it is he wants. Then you bring him something and his voice changes to this 5 year old whiney voice and he snaps "I don't like it." or "That's not what I wanted at all!" but then still can't really tell you what it is he wants. At the last minute. That I'm busting my ass to scramble up for him. Which if he really wanted so bad he should have thought of and communicated earlier.
He's always got this dour grimace on his face. He regularly completely ignores people who try to talk to him, and sometimes just literally shoves people aside while doing so. He completely man-handles people. He will grab the stand-ins by the shoulders and literally shove them around to get them into a position he wants. I heard stories of last season: Once the main star's stand-in was doing a camera rehersal with a walk and she started the walk at a wrong moment. Instead of asking her to come back he grabbed her ponytail and drug her back. I heard he once was literally pounding his fists on the floor. And he continues to direct episodes. Grrrr.
Ok, enough negative ranting for now. I must have something good to share. Ok, I just came up for a good motivation for this extra two days of work. With the money I make from those two days I'm finally buying my iPod. I can't believe I still don't have an iPod but it's tough when honest to god I won't settle for less than the 80 gig iPod video. So those two days are my iPod days. I had long planned that I was going to buy myself an iPod as a present to myself for working the whole season. A reward. I like to do that sometimes. When I got my first real professional job (a job I got because of my college degree, basically) with my first paycheck I bought a Palm IIIxe. As a present to myself. Because I deserved it since I rocked so hard.
Ohh, here's another bit of good news: we have a new Mac in the family. A bit of backstory: I type this from my main computer, a laptop. I still can't get over it myself that my main computer is a laptop. But of course it's a 17" MacBook Pro (first generation) that I ordered the first day I could. Previous to this I was on a PC, but spent a great deal of time on Mac's in college before I owned my own computer. But when it was time to buy that first computer Macs were way too expensive so I got a PC. But a year ago I was working on a project that I had to have a Mac laptop for and the timeline was a bit tight but I waited and it paid off: I got my laptop a scant 2 weeks before the shoot began, just enough time to install programs and do a few workflow tests. And now I hardly ever turn on my PC desktop workstation. I live on my laptop. Which I think works better for writing.
So back on topic: we got a new Mac. See, one bonus of working on a tv show and being the computer person is that I picked up a barely used G5 quad and 20 inch apple monitor for very very very very cheap. The G5 needs major RAM and another hard drive (or swap out both) but we scored a great deal. Apple sends us promo computers to use during the show and at the end of the season you can buy them at deep discount. They're still on warranty until July and you can get apple care if you want. The show had 8 G5 towers and I got the only quad, the rest were only duals. heh. pays to be in my position.
I'm trying to convert my PC boyfriend to Mac. I think the G5 might be the trick, plus the fact that I know what I'm doing on OSX now so I can stop his rants about "how come I can do X on my PC but I can't do it on the Mac?" Cuz he's wrong. Mac rules, Microsoft drools. Linux is cool, too. Someday I will tackle that, too.
Ok, another cool thing that happened a few weeks ago. (Wow, this post is getting long and rambly. Yea, deal.) We had a scene that was set in a supercomputer lab. And we really shot it in an honest-to-God supercomputer lab at USCD. Personally, I think they were crazy for letting us shoot there. Of course it was a sound nightmare: it reminded me of a TV movie I worked on that we shot on a docked aircraft carrier: a constant loud drone. I guess they're going to ADR everything later. So of course in my geekdom it was cool hanging out in a supercomputer lab, but it gets even better. I arrive early on set because I have to set up our hero computers: 9 screens from 7 computers. The location contact is letting me into the room and I notice the sign next to the door which was fake for the show. One of the graphics guys named the computer lab after me, with my last name. so it was my supercomputer lab. I totally nabbed the sign as we were leaving and it's now on my office door.
But even cooler was this: on the drive home, I remembered what day it was. March 6. The day my father died when I was 11. He was the one responsible for making me the computer nerd I am today. We bonded a lot over the TSR-80 we had: he taught me the beginnings of computer programming (BASIC of course).
Anyway, in retrospect I felt it was all a big hug from Dad.
And that's what we call full-fucking-circle.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
This is the End
We're in the final days of the season shooting the last episode. So. burnt.
All I have to say is: I HATE ASSHOLE DIRECTORS. I almost just told him to go fuck himself. He's a complete baby. Everyone on the crew hates him. And we're all so burnt and tired and ready to be done that we don't feel like kissing his ass. And really don't care. It's almost become comical how pissy he gets. He doesn't get it that being a jerk does not win you any respect from the people working for you. Who wants to bust their ass for a whiny asshole baby?
It cracks me up how tired and worn out the directors get. Yea, they've a lot to do in that time and pressure and shit but when they're on set for a scant 7-9 days and the rest of the crew has worked every day since July I don't have any empathy.
I might tell him he's a great example for my own directing future: a true example of what not to do. I should tell him how he better watch his back because soon I'll be taking his jobs. Heh.
If today had been any other day earlier in the season I would have probably quit today. but with only 2 more days left after today I can take it. Maybe.
Grrrr.
Breathe. 2 days left. I can survive. I simply have to pretend he doesn't exist.
All I have to say is: I HATE ASSHOLE DIRECTORS. I almost just told him to go fuck himself. He's a complete baby. Everyone on the crew hates him. And we're all so burnt and tired and ready to be done that we don't feel like kissing his ass. And really don't care. It's almost become comical how pissy he gets. He doesn't get it that being a jerk does not win you any respect from the people working for you. Who wants to bust their ass for a whiny asshole baby?
It cracks me up how tired and worn out the directors get. Yea, they've a lot to do in that time and pressure and shit but when they're on set for a scant 7-9 days and the rest of the crew has worked every day since July I don't have any empathy.
I might tell him he's a great example for my own directing future: a true example of what not to do. I should tell him how he better watch his back because soon I'll be taking his jobs. Heh.
If today had been any other day earlier in the season I would have probably quit today. but with only 2 more days left after today I can take it. Maybe.
Grrrr.
Breathe. 2 days left. I can survive. I simply have to pretend he doesn't exist.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Some Kinda Record
#1 Number of Blog Posts In 24 hours
#2 Number of Cool Things Happening to Me In a Week
Now we're up to #3
(for those not following at home, #1: writing gig #2: nephew will enters the world)
.....and now I get word that the movie I worked on last summer, that I worked intently with the writers on, that my boyfriend DP'ed, that I was supposed to edit but had to quit after a difference in management style, got picked up for distribution! Despite my ending with the project, I'm very happy for them and I hope it kicks some serious butt! And not just because my DP boyfriend secured himself some points in the deal. But it doesn't hurt, either.
Right now I'm in complete denial this is all happening, so I could wake up tomorrow and be forced to recant but right now I'm a little overwhelmed with my life. So far 2007 has my money for best. year. ever.
And now I've probably jinxed it all by saying that.
#2 Number of Cool Things Happening to Me In a Week
Now we're up to #3
(for those not following at home, #1: writing gig #2: nephew will enters the world)
.....and now I get word that the movie I worked on last summer, that I worked intently with the writers on, that my boyfriend DP'ed, that I was supposed to edit but had to quit after a difference in management style, got picked up for distribution! Despite my ending with the project, I'm very happy for them and I hope it kicks some serious butt! And not just because my DP boyfriend secured himself some points in the deal. But it doesn't hurt, either.
Right now I'm in complete denial this is all happening, so I could wake up tomorrow and be forced to recant but right now I'm a little overwhelmed with my life. So far 2007 has my money for best. year. ever.
And now I've probably jinxed it all by saying that.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Welcome to the World Will
Off-topic but it's my blog. I'll do what I want.
I'm officially an Aunt 3 times over as of this morning: my nephew Will was born today, joining his adorable big sisters Caroline and Catherine.
He picked a cool date to be born: 2/27/2007.
I have two fun things I'm doing as long term projects for my nieces and now nephew. First, on the day they are born I collect the news of their birth from around the Internets. Actually this started for a reason: my first niece Caroline was born in 2002 in Alaska. About 45 minutes after her birth there was a 7.9 richer earthquake along the Denali Fault, the epicenter of which was 50-ish miles away from where she was born. She came in with a bang. AND she was born the day before my birthday. Nice. I wanted to collect all the info about the earthquake for her later, and thus started this tradition.
My second tradition is that on each of their birthdays I write them a letter that they will receive in a bundle when they turn 18. It's a mix of current events and my thoughts on them, memories, advice, etc. Should be interesting for both of us. Heh.
And because I have no transition, a change of topic.
Thanks to everyone who's commented on my blog. Yea! People are reading it! Feedback rocks.
Although I'm not sure if I should be freaked out that all 3 people who have commented on my blog so far share the same first name.
Which is also the name that I was would have now if I'd turned out to be of the Other Gender.
Chew on that while I get back to writing before I have to go into work today. (For anyone playing along at home, work ends T-minus 13 days and counting.)
I'm officially an Aunt 3 times over as of this morning: my nephew Will was born today, joining his adorable big sisters Caroline and Catherine.
He picked a cool date to be born: 2/27/2007.
I have two fun things I'm doing as long term projects for my nieces and now nephew. First, on the day they are born I collect the news of their birth from around the Internets. Actually this started for a reason: my first niece Caroline was born in 2002 in Alaska. About 45 minutes after her birth there was a 7.9 richer earthquake along the Denali Fault, the epicenter of which was 50-ish miles away from where she was born. She came in with a bang. AND she was born the day before my birthday. Nice. I wanted to collect all the info about the earthquake for her later, and thus started this tradition.
My second tradition is that on each of their birthdays I write them a letter that they will receive in a bundle when they turn 18. It's a mix of current events and my thoughts on them, memories, advice, etc. Should be interesting for both of us. Heh.
And because I have no transition, a change of topic.
Thanks to everyone who's commented on my blog. Yea! People are reading it! Feedback rocks.
Although I'm not sure if I should be freaked out that all 3 people who have commented on my blog so far share the same first name.
Which is also the name that I was would have now if I'd turned out to be of the Other Gender.
Chew on that while I get back to writing before I have to go into work today. (For anyone playing along at home, work ends T-minus 13 days and counting.)
New Developments
Holy Shit.
I've been hired for my first official screenwriting gig. It's a rewrite of a script I read and gave some notes on a few years ago. I thought it was dead. I guess it's only the current script that's dead because I've been tapped to re-write it. The producer loves me. Loves all my ideas. We've got a great rapport. Sounds almost toooo good to be true.
(Shut up. Why do you have to doubt every good thing that happens to you?)
The script itself needs a lot more drama. Everything needs to be way amped. The basic story is there I think. Mostly. Sorta. But it requires at least one major change: the main character. Right now the main character is a child with a developmental disability. It doesn't work. I'm pretty sure it's going to be the teacher, creating a whole lot of character arc work and structure change. Just to start.
I'm super excited. It's a family drama with an uplifting ending, but should have moments of funny. And if I know this producer as much as I think I do, this will get made. The story is an important one to tell, and timely.
But of course I have some moments of sheer panic that I will somehow make the script worse. Then I get over it.
The subject matter requires a decent amount of research, research that I sorta don't want to be doing because I want to jump in and write but not only is the research information integral to the plot, but it's providing me even more inspirations about ways to improve the story. So I'm back and forth. Internet. Outlining. Jotting down little things. Repeat.
I almost hate to admit it, but one of the best things about this project is the sense of deadline. I don't have any kind of date deadline yet (it's too early to know especially while I'm still working full time for a few more weeks). But I have the knowledge that someone is waiting for my draft.
And as much as that also freaks me out a bit, it does so in that all important motivating way.
so yay. for me. finally.
I've been hired for my first official screenwriting gig. It's a rewrite of a script I read and gave some notes on a few years ago. I thought it was dead. I guess it's only the current script that's dead because I've been tapped to re-write it. The producer loves me. Loves all my ideas. We've got a great rapport. Sounds almost toooo good to be true.
(Shut up. Why do you have to doubt every good thing that happens to you?)
The script itself needs a lot more drama. Everything needs to be way amped. The basic story is there I think. Mostly. Sorta. But it requires at least one major change: the main character. Right now the main character is a child with a developmental disability. It doesn't work. I'm pretty sure it's going to be the teacher, creating a whole lot of character arc work and structure change. Just to start.
I'm super excited. It's a family drama with an uplifting ending, but should have moments of funny. And if I know this producer as much as I think I do, this will get made. The story is an important one to tell, and timely.
But of course I have some moments of sheer panic that I will somehow make the script worse. Then I get over it.
The subject matter requires a decent amount of research, research that I sorta don't want to be doing because I want to jump in and write but not only is the research information integral to the plot, but it's providing me even more inspirations about ways to improve the story. So I'm back and forth. Internet. Outlining. Jotting down little things. Repeat.
I almost hate to admit it, but one of the best things about this project is the sense of deadline. I don't have any kind of date deadline yet (it's too early to know especially while I'm still working full time for a few more weeks). But I have the knowledge that someone is waiting for my draft.
And as much as that also freaks me out a bit, it does so in that all important motivating way.
so yay. for me. finally.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The Big Jump
Soon I make the big jump. Bittersweet excitement.
I simply cannot make the days pass fast enough to be done with my job on the TV show -- mid-March for the curious. Not that there's really anything wrong with the show or my job, it's just not where I want to be.
Months ago I decided that I was going to write full time when this show is over. I will have to take on some little jobs to help with the bills --short, sweet and decent paying. Little editing gigs, motion graphics projects, maybe a website or graphics work. But my focus, my core intention is on writing.
Thankfully, I will be able to Just Write for a while...I've worked so much in the past year I've earned it. Of course, I'm equally excited and terrified.
It reminds me of my senior year in high school -- back in West Des Moines, Iowa. In Iowa, they grow the smartest kids ever. So smart, in fact, that they all leave shortly after graduation. It took me a bit longer, but I eventually followed the masses Elsewhere. Anyway, long before I actually left, I was decidedly DONE with high school, ready to be out-out-out...yet not quite ready for my best friends to go off in all different directions for college.
But then, we still had the summer.
That's how I want to set my mentality: this freedom I'm going to feel: it's fleeting and will be gone before I know it. So make it fraking count.
I simply cannot make the days pass fast enough to be done with my job on the TV show -- mid-March for the curious. Not that there's really anything wrong with the show or my job, it's just not where I want to be.
Months ago I decided that I was going to write full time when this show is over. I will have to take on some little jobs to help with the bills --short, sweet and decent paying. Little editing gigs, motion graphics projects, maybe a website or graphics work. But my focus, my core intention is on writing.
Thankfully, I will be able to Just Write for a while...I've worked so much in the past year I've earned it. Of course, I'm equally excited and terrified.
It reminds me of my senior year in high school -- back in West Des Moines, Iowa. In Iowa, they grow the smartest kids ever. So smart, in fact, that they all leave shortly after graduation. It took me a bit longer, but I eventually followed the masses Elsewhere. Anyway, long before I actually left, I was decidedly DONE with high school, ready to be out-out-out...yet not quite ready for my best friends to go off in all different directions for college.
But then, we still had the summer.
That's how I want to set my mentality: this freedom I'm going to feel: it's fleeting and will be gone before I know it. So make it fraking count.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
New Idea
I have this bad habit of Never Finishing. The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome when it comes to my scripts and stories. And I'm doing it again.
When I started to re-focus on my writing, I decided to just pick one idea and finish it. At this point, I don't care if it sucks balls, I just need to get the stone a rollin'. Since that script has a (really bad) temporary title, I'm going to refer to it as Codename: Loner Girl.
Too bad I'm more stuck than white on rice.
I had hoped to be much further on Codename: Loner Girl by now. Sure I make progress, little bits here and there, but nothing substantial. And every time I try to force it I only make things worse so I'm just letting that one roast for a bit.
So a week or so back, two things happen to me: first, I catch a random indie flick on IFC. Then I read a spec script I happen to find lying around one of our sets at the studio, mixed up in a bunch of set dressing books. The script had evidently been sold a few months back to a major studio and is now "in development." Now, both of these were pretty crappy, but each had moments I liked...and each reminded me a little bit of an idea I had a few months back when I was on an idea-generation rampage. Right now it also doesn't really have a title. Ok, it might have title, but I'm still letting it soak in. So for now it's called Codename: Outsider Holiday.
This one has got me excited. Who knows yet if it will actually be good, but at least the story seems to be coming together. The characters are coming alive easily. Nice.
And now I've realized why I think Codename: Loner Girl is causing me so much pain. I've restricted my plot as part of my story, making it very difficult to write a strong, cinematic script. It's a challenging idea -- I wouldn't admit how challenging until now. I think I'm gonna have to put it away until I'm better at my craft.
So, there's that.
When I started to re-focus on my writing, I decided to just pick one idea and finish it. At this point, I don't care if it sucks balls, I just need to get the stone a rollin'. Since that script has a (really bad) temporary title, I'm going to refer to it as Codename: Loner Girl.
Too bad I'm more stuck than white on rice.
I had hoped to be much further on Codename: Loner Girl by now. Sure I make progress, little bits here and there, but nothing substantial. And every time I try to force it I only make things worse so I'm just letting that one roast for a bit.
So a week or so back, two things happen to me: first, I catch a random indie flick on IFC. Then I read a spec script I happen to find lying around one of our sets at the studio, mixed up in a bunch of set dressing books. The script had evidently been sold a few months back to a major studio and is now "in development." Now, both of these were pretty crappy, but each had moments I liked...and each reminded me a little bit of an idea I had a few months back when I was on an idea-generation rampage. Right now it also doesn't really have a title. Ok, it might have title, but I'm still letting it soak in. So for now it's called Codename: Outsider Holiday.
This one has got me excited. Who knows yet if it will actually be good, but at least the story seems to be coming together. The characters are coming alive easily. Nice.
And now I've realized why I think Codename: Loner Girl is causing me so much pain. I've restricted my plot as part of my story, making it very difficult to write a strong, cinematic script. It's a challenging idea -- I wouldn't admit how challenging until now. I think I'm gonna have to put it away until I'm better at my craft.
So, there's that.
Friday, January 12, 2007
I Wanted To Bitch. Really.
As the world seems to go mad around me, I feel somewhat in my own bubble of peace. Not that everything's Just Grand, but holiday break combined with my reinforced writing goal has ushered in a new Queen Age.
As for this blog, I thought I really wanted to bitch about my day job. Then every time I wanted to my thoughts kept wandering into the land of the important things I'm learning.
I'm sure that will change soon. Stay tuned for snarky remarks and silly futile arguments. I give it 2 weeks--tops.
But while we still live in la-la land, I have had recent breakthroughs. For example:
There's this one director I don't get along with at all. AT ALL. But, by simultaneous effort we get along great now. I even fixed a problem on his new laptop for him which took probably an hour or more of my time (when I wasn't doing anything else).
Like I alluded, I think it was effort on both our parts. He seemed to chill more, I think I got better at communicating my needs to him. Essentially, we both treated each other like professionals Right Now, no matter our past history.
When his episode was over and he was doing the after-wrap rounds, I gave him a hug and honestly meant the gesture.
It was nice to come full circle.
As for this blog, I thought I really wanted to bitch about my day job. Then every time I wanted to my thoughts kept wandering into the land of the important things I'm learning.
I'm sure that will change soon. Stay tuned for snarky remarks and silly futile arguments. I give it 2 weeks--tops.
But while we still live in la-la land, I have had recent breakthroughs. For example:
There's this one director I don't get along with at all. AT ALL. But, by simultaneous effort we get along great now. I even fixed a problem on his new laptop for him which took probably an hour or more of my time (when I wasn't doing anything else).
Like I alluded, I think it was effort on both our parts. He seemed to chill more, I think I got better at communicating my needs to him. Essentially, we both treated each other like professionals Right Now, no matter our past history.
When his episode was over and he was doing the after-wrap rounds, I gave him a hug and honestly meant the gesture.
It was nice to come full circle.
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