Radio Silence

My last post. Big Promises. Ha.

Life's had me on quite a whirlwind the past few weeks. Roller coaster might be a closer analogy. Except this coaster goes off-rail.

I owe everyone and their mom e-mails and phone calls. Sorry ya'll.

The extreme ends of my life recently have been the death of a friend counter-weighted against Andy's movie, his feature Cinematographer debut, opening tomorrow in something around a thousand theaters. This one. Go see it, especially if you are a 9-16 year old girl.

As for the loss...not enough words right now.

We'll miss you Ronnie.



Back to regularly scheduled programming soon~ish.

oh hai how long u been standing ther?

Back from Burning Man;

Quit smoking;

Crazy dreams (the nighttime kind);

Feeling wound-up by something unidentified;

Creatively, feeling meh;

Not writing, nothing inspires;

Plan: get a new perspective. Clean up and re-do office to plush happy work environ (currently is just really an unused junk pile area/closet of doom while I sit on the living room couch on my laptop)...also a few trips to LA, some even sans Boyfriend, to shake up shit.

Oh, and a fucking haircut.

Thanks, blog, for helping me realize the path to my Greatest Potential:
1. Re-do my office
2. Get outta my house
3. Get a haircut
4. Create timeless creative works
5. Eternal Joy

Seems easy enough.

--BTW, I'm going to make myself post more. Here.

Sometimes it might not be pretty, like today.

Pardon the blood n guts while we are under construction.

I'm Not Dead

...Just been on a bit of a Virtual Vacation. Recharging the creative batteries. And getting ready to leave for Burning Man very soon.

I've been writing a bit, but very on and off, hit and miss. So I've been spending some time playing with Other Creative Things I like but rarely get to do. It's been a Good Thing, but it's time to buckle down.

So right after my return from Burning Man, I'm putting myself on a writing schedule, and I have some new ideas I'm excited to start.

Ready to be back in the saddle.

America, You are Dead to Me

Taking a page from the How To Make Big Headlines In Jail by Gandi, Paris refused to eat and now she's been "transferred" to house arrest. Because somehow refusing to eat is Suddenly a special kind of health issue for which she and she alone should get special treatment for.

Dead to me, America. Truly. What's the point anymore of even trying to put on a face like you're a serious country doing serious things when Paris can get out of jail for not eating?

Because house arrest IS NOT jail. No where near, especially for her. She can still shop online. Get Poo-poo'ed by whomever her family hires for that detail. Have friends visit. Sleep in her own goddamn bed.

So, yea, maybe I'm more cranky than usual due to the monthly visit of the Gnome-miners -- they have tiny shark pick-axes.

But still.

There is no justice in this world. Truly. Children starve and Paris gets out of jail for not eating. Normal people serve their time while The New Royalty gets a get-out-of-jail-(practically)-free card.

Maybe I'll stop eating to protest Paris being let out of jail. No one will care. And I will die. Or I won't die and I end up super-skinny. Then, and only then, maybe I'll, too, have a shot at fame. Not based on talent, per say. Unless showing the most ribs through your skin counts.

Hi, Me

I've had a habit since I was young.

I talk to myself.

Granted, there are times when I'm more...shy. When I live with/around a bunch of people, for instance. See, they think you're talking to them...and then you have to explain. Then you're forced into just whispering -- or even mouthing. Or sometimes it's all just trapped in your head, the whole conversation.

I had a realization: do other writers do this? Is this a normal trait for other story-smiths?

Personally, I find that being able to really talk out loud to yourself is exponentially more helpful than just keeping it all in your head. There's a second set of brain processing that goes on when it must first come out your mouth and then filter it's way back in through your ears and THEN hits your brain.

If it's bullshit, an alarm goes off. Why? I think it's the "coming out of someone else's mouth" filter at work.

Anyway, share. Do you? Should you? Could you? Try it, at least. Best done when alone. We tend to self-sensor if we think people can hear us...

Cheating

So, I've been kinda blocked. Not completely, but my usual Flow has been more like a Trickle. Sometimes only Drips. The rewrite is killing me. Starting to doubt my skills as a writer. Realizing I might be...a hack.

Meanwhile, the rewrite producer calls and emails me all the time, wanting to see progress.

So late Thursday night Andy finds out he has to go to LA for work the next day, dealing with the trailer film-out for the movie. He made me go so he could take the carpool lane.

I took the car time opportunity to talk to Andy about the Outsider Holiday script. We brainstormed. He gave me some really good ideas, which spurned a nice back and forth. I started getting excited.

Up in LA, we first had a screening of the film-out at Technicolor and then ate lunch at the Universal Cafeteria. I kept my eyes peeled for Jane -- not that I think I'd be able to identify her from her tiny website picture, but you never know. She's from Iowa, too. I just realized that. Shout out to the corn-bred!

Then we were back and forth to different offices and post houses, then headed home. Headed straight out to a club, something we hardly ever do these days. But it was Bassnectar. Caught up with a bunch of friends we don't see much anymore. Lately we've been social hermits.

So Saturday morning I start writing down the stuff we talked about in the car brainstorming sessions. And....magic.

It's back. I'm back. I'm not a hack.

Of course, this is my "cheating" script. I almost feel guilty working on it when I have a producer breathing down my neck for something else.

But I need my confidence. I need to write. I need to get flowing. I think I'm realizing that it's not me, per say with the problem but the rewrite itself. Ok, let me rephrase: I know the rewrite has problems. That's what I'm trying to fix. But maybe the route I'm taking with it has a huge problem that I'm not seeing.

Because all of the sudden I'm 1/3 of the way through a very thorough outline for Outsider Holiday and I've barely worked on it. the story is just coming together. I am seeing complete scenes in my head. My themes are clear. Almost all my ideas seem to fit into it like a glove. It's practically writing itself.

Except it isn't the script I'm supposed to be writing right now.

Updates

You don't know how many posts I've started and abandoned. I'm having one of those months where I hate nearly everything that comes out of my mouth. Well, technically it's coming out of my head via my fingers. Semantics.

I'm working on my re-write, the Autism Movie. It's tough. Very tough. It's one of those scripts that has a good film inside of it, but right now it's like a bunch of books laying all over the floor. Trying to make order from chaos. Tough subject matter. Trying to push the drama, but not go over the top with it. I'm making progress, but it's going so. slow.

We (me + A) got roped into doing visuals at a little club on June 2. It's fun to do visuals now and again. But right now my mind is elsewhere (writing). And the style is high techy/Tron style shit which we don't do that much of so I've got some work to do to get ready. I did have one good idea for it, though: Pong. A's got an old mid-70's era Pong game that we're gonna set up and add to the mix...and allow folks to play. think key on black, key on white, key on both. heh. should be interesting as a video layer.

A's been busy helping to get the feature he DP'ed ready for the film out. Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour. Release date is October 26. Right now they are getting a trailer ready to run during the Nancy Drew theatrical. A's convinced that the world is going to end before October 26. Or that his mother is going to die. She's always said that once she's seen his name credited as DP on the Big Screen that she could die happy.

We spend so much time in this biz dealing with failures, projects fizzling, cancellations and No's in general that when something does happen it's hard to believe it's true.

Ok, back to me. I mean, it is my blog.

Once I'm further on my re-write, I'm going to start again on my Outsider Family Holiday Comedy. Maybe because it's so opposite of what I'm working on right now. And, outside of the re-write, I've started to feel like I'm Funny again*. A is much more helpful to me when I'm writing funny stuff. He's pretty funny himself--one of the reasons I keep him around. I admit: A man that makes me laugh is the ticket to my heart. He can be pretty dry. Sometimes so dry people don't know he is joking. It's a good thing he has me around to laugh. I'm dual purpose: instant audience and bodyguard. Laughing, thereby saving him from bodily harm. Oh, and I'm pretty. So, there's always that.

So...anywhere...where am I going with this post? Anyone remember?

Me either.

New on my iPod: MIKA. Can't. Stop. Listening. I don't care for most pop music these days, but this kid. O. M. G. I'm sure there are some who will hate the style, but I love it. I can't stop listening. The album, his debut (he's 22 or so) is "Life in Cartoon Motion." MIKA. iTunes store or amazon to hear samples. Do it.

I would tell you about the movies I've seen but I'm embarrased to be so far behind.

Alright. Enough ramble-torture. Poor readers.




*Ok, actually not today. Right now I feel very un-funny. And I'm only posting this because it's been far too long!

So Foolin'

Who can combine technology and toilet humor for a killer April Fool's Joke?

Google, of course.

I can't stop giggling.

I love big important companies that know how to take their fun seriously.

In Recovery

I'm done. Since Wednesday night. I'm in a daze. Recovery.

Working on set/in production forces your brain into a certain mindset, if you are to survive with your sanity. After awhile, that brain-set takes a physical form in your body. You realize your shoulders are always tense. Your jaw clenched for no good reason.

With experience I've learned that the best thing I can do during the recovery period is a whole lot of nothing, or stupid meaningless silly things. Hey, I might get productive, and that would be a bonus. And I'm thankful for those moments, however fleeting.

But for a few more days I'm tackling small projects. Doing house cleaning. Organizing my iTunes library and adding all the ID3 information to my ancient mp3's. Planning my office overhaul. Doing that stuff that I kept ignoring, piled up stuff patiently waiting for my attention for months.

I'm writing a bit, more and more every day. As my brain and body remember Who I Am, again.

Sorry for the whack-o last post. I know I was being vague. Recovery. But I think I'm figuring out my problem. One thing that helped was watching "Little Miss Sunshine" the other night. I think what I'm striving for character-structure-wise is a bit like what they've done: a large, very involved supporting cast but with a classic main character (in LMS, Greg Kinnear). I'd love to read the script. Anybody got it/have knowledge/able to share?

Oh, also, more info about The Artist's Way. Here's an amazon.com link to the book. There's a short wiki about the author, but it looks like the official Artist's Way website is down right now.

Allrightythen. My iTunes library is calling. I have 294 songs that I need to hunt down the album info for. And if I feel really anal, another 300 or so that need track numbers.

Wait -- Hmmm....do I need to catch up on any scanning?

Sometimes brainless tasks are just what the doctor ordered.

Two Thongs

Sometimes a typo works better. And that would be this blog post title. I intended Things, but sometimes fate pulls a fast one. And sometimes fate is named Shiraz.

Numero Uno: The Artist's Way

I can't believe how long it took me. I had been told by many, many people that I need to read Julie Cameron's book The Artist's Way.

Although I do regret the previous lapse in judgment, I'm actually in the perfect place and time right now for it to help and stick. Because I want it. Really. I'm ready, and I've shown myself (finally) that I am. I actually believe it.

I've just started the book and the introduction has been freaking me out. In a good way. I'll keep ya'll posted on my process. Even if you don't give a shit.

Numero Dos: My script

Fuck it -- I'm telling ya'll the title. PERFECT PITCH.

Ok, technically it's not the title yet, really. Like, to the producer or anyone else involved except me. I'm waiting for the right moment to...pitch it. Anyway, I like it a lot better than the current title and works perfectly in so many ways.

But so I had a realization about the script. Which has me sort-of in a panic. I've written here before about how I need to change the main character. What I'm realizing more and more is that it's a bit of an ensemble piece. And I've never attempted an ensemble before.

I'm freakin out a bit. And I've been so slammed with the last days of work and various required social functions that I've had no time to write. But actually, it's been perfectly timed to my process: At first I scribbled a lot of notes and did a bunch of research before I got busy. (I think I mentioned before the story involves an autistic boy and it's very important to me that I provide a realistic viewpoint.)

When I've been too busy to write lately my brain has been brewing. In my research phase I read a wide variety of viewpoints and informational sources. (Have I told you lately how much I abso-fucking-lutely love the InterWebs?) And in that time all those ideas were so varied that my logical brain kept them separate. Time provided the way: I saw how they could all come together and work.

And it starts with the fact it's an ensemble script.

The idea is the easy part.

My loyal readership -- any advice you can provide is like a welcoming hug. Shower me.