The Big Jump

Soon I make the big jump. Bittersweet excitement.

I simply cannot make the days pass fast enough to be done with my job on the TV show -- mid-March for the curious. Not that there's really anything wrong with the show or my job, it's just not where I want to be.

Months ago I decided that I was going to write full time when this show is over. I will have to take on some little jobs to help with the bills --short, sweet and decent paying. Little editing gigs, motion graphics projects, maybe a website or graphics work. But my focus, my core intention is on writing.

Thankfully, I will be able to Just Write for a while...I've worked so much in the past year I've earned it. Of course, I'm equally excited and terrified.

It reminds me of my senior year in high school -- back in West Des Moines, Iowa. In Iowa, they grow the smartest kids ever. So smart, in fact, that they all leave shortly after graduation. It took me a bit longer, but I eventually followed the masses Elsewhere. Anyway, long before I actually left, I was decidedly DONE with high school, ready to be out-out-out...yet not quite ready for my best friends to go off in all different directions for college.

But then, we still had the summer.

That's how I want to set my mentality: this freedom I'm going to feel: it's fleeting and will be gone before I know it. So make it fraking count.

New Idea

I have this bad habit of Never Finishing. The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome when it comes to my scripts and stories. And I'm doing it again.

When I started to re-focus on my writing, I decided to just pick one idea and finish it. At this point, I don't care if it sucks balls, I just need to get the stone a rollin'. Since that script has a (really bad) temporary title, I'm going to refer to it as Codename: Loner Girl.

Too bad I'm more stuck than white on rice.

I had hoped to be much further on Codename: Loner Girl by now. Sure I make progress, little bits here and there, but nothing substantial. And every time I try to force it I only make things worse so I'm just letting that one roast for a bit.

So a week or so back, two things happen to me: first, I catch a random indie flick on IFC. Then I read a spec script I happen to find lying around one of our sets at the studio, mixed up in a bunch of set dressing books. The script had evidently been sold a few months back to a major studio and is now "in development." Now, both of these were pretty crappy, but each had moments I liked...and each reminded me a little bit of an idea I had a few months back when I was on an idea-generation rampage. Right now it also doesn't really have a title. Ok, it might have title, but I'm still letting it soak in. So for now it's called Codename: Outsider Holiday.

This one has got me excited. Who knows yet if it will actually be good, but at least the story seems to be coming together. The characters are coming alive easily. Nice.

And now I've realized why I think Codename: Loner Girl is causing me so much pain. I've restricted my plot as part of my story, making it very difficult to write a strong, cinematic script. It's a challenging idea -- I wouldn't admit how challenging until now. I think I'm gonna have to put it away until I'm better at my craft.

So, there's that.

I Wanted To Bitch. Really.

As the world seems to go mad around me, I feel somewhat in my own bubble of peace. Not that everything's Just Grand, but holiday break combined with my reinforced writing goal has ushered in a new Queen Age.

As for this blog, I thought I really wanted to bitch about my day job. Then every time I wanted to my thoughts kept wandering into the land of the important things I'm learning.

I'm sure that will change soon. Stay tuned for snarky remarks and silly futile arguments. I give it 2 weeks--tops.

But while we still live in la-la land, I have had recent breakthroughs. For example:

There's this one director I don't get along with at all. AT ALL. But, by simultaneous effort we get along great now. I even fixed a problem on his new laptop for him which took probably an hour or more of my time (when I wasn't doing anything else).

Like I alluded, I think it was effort on both our parts. He seemed to chill more, I think I got better at communicating my needs to him. Essentially, we both treated each other like professionals Right Now, no matter our past history.

When his episode was over and he was doing the after-wrap rounds, I gave him a hug and honestly meant the gesture.

It was nice to come full circle.

Ready, Set...um...

All ready to be cranky and bitchy...the steam wheezed out of the engine.

I purposely didn't look ahead to my schedule past one day, knowing full well how fast things can change. I didn't want to get excited if it looked like I might have a day off.

Then I got to work, looked at the week ahead, and an amazing thing happened. The gods were with me. I didn't have to work for the next 2 whole days in a row. I'm enjoying the last day of those 2 as we speak. I go back to work tomorrow, Friday. Just in time for another 2 whole days off. Simply amazing. Lately it seemed I was lucky to get 2 whole days off per episode (ep=approx 8 shooting days), let alone (gasp) in a row. Not only that, but on top of just 1 day after coming back from a major break? woohoo! so far in 2007 it looks like I'm on an early streak of good luck.

I'm writing, some~ish. Piddling, really. Twidlin' here, flounderin there. I can't figure out who gets my attention. But I'm going to make myself chose one very soon and at least finish a draft, even if it sucks. That gives me plenty of time to decide what comes next.

Oh the Dread

Tomorrow at 7 am I have to report back to work -- far too early in the new year and far too soon for me. I was only just getting comfy, finally relaxing. Two-ish weeks: not enough time.

Ok, so I didn't spend as much of my holiday break writing as I wanted. Although on the bright side, I did do a tremendous amount of idea generation, plotting work, writing loglines, summarizing and taking my first real honest look at all the archived inspirations, idea bits and screenplays-in-the-works. But none of that work was focused on one thing, which was my original lofty goal, until I got completely stuck.

But now it's time to go back. I just have to survive the last 3 months on set. And not just survive, but find some way to thrive. Or at the very fucking least, simply be at peace and prepare myself for my next big phase: writing full time. I want to really try to do some kind of writing on set, even if it's just this blog.

As I scramble to come up with some point for this entry, I guess this is serving as warning: this blog could certainly OD on darkly funny scathing remarks that, out of context, could make me appear like a whiny bitch. And I might actually agree with you there: lately, I don't really like ME. I'm becoming annoying, even to myself. I guess that's some kind of accomplishment...or...

More likely, it's a sign that I'm ignoring some things write in front of my face. All I need to do is get on the write path -- make doing the write thing as easy as possible.

My apologies, in advance, for any extreme bitterness that may ensue.

So here I go. Again.